3 Steps to Finally Adopting the Habits You Want
If you’re trying to adopt a new habit, and you’re telling yourself it’s as simple as, “just doing it,” chances are, that hasn’t been working out too well for you. That’s because if it was truly as simple as, “just doing it,” then we’d all be living our dream lives.
So, if you’re over making excuses. If you’re done whining about why you can’t do the thing you want…
Here are the 3 Steps to Finally Adopting the Habits You Want
Identify what you’re doing instead.
Emotionally un-invest in the thing you’re currently doing and emotionally invest in the thing you want to start doing.
Visualize and rehearse.
1) Identify what you’re doing instead of the thing you want to be doing.
Chances are, what you WANT to do is competing with something you’re CURRENTLY doing.
I’ll give you an example of a conversation I had with a client recently on Sleeping In vs. Working Out
They want to start working out more and have identified that mornings are the best. They used to really like working out in the morning, but now are finding it difficult to get out of bed early enough to do it. It’s the only time they have enough energy and they really do like how it feels when they do.
First, we identified what they’re doing instead because if it was truly as easy as just getting up, they would have done it by now, right? Humans are a bit more complex than that though. So, if this sounds like you, instead of getting upset with yourself and calling yourself lazy and hopeless, try getting curious and problem-solving instead.
Here’s the thing, we all do things for a reason. Right now, what you’re doing is benefiting you somehow. You have something to gain from what you’re currently doing - but it may no longer be getting you what you want, which is why you’re here.
Let’s see how my client’s conversation plays out:
What they’re doing instead of working out is laying in bed and either cuddling with their partner or scrolling through Instagram. It’s warm and cozy and feels good in the moment. It’s comfortable and doesn’t require any energy.
Now that we know what they’re “gaining” from their current situation we can start to understand why it feels so difficult to workout instead. Working out requires energy, you get sweaty, you have to get out of bed and be cold until you change, etc. It’s not quite as easy to do the latter, but there is a way we can turn the tables to make staying in bed seem less tempting and working out more rewarding.
2) Emotionally un-invest in the thing you’re currently doing and emotionally invest in the thing you want to start doing.
Most of the things that you do have energy behind them. You might be doing something because you fear the consequence or you might be doing something because you get really excited by the reward - either way, it’s powered by strong emotions. Right now, you’re emotionally invested in the wrong thing.
1 - Emotionally un-invest in the thing you’re currently doing
What will it cost me (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.) if I continue to lay in bed instead of working out?
6 months, 1 year, 5 years from now?
What will I miss out on if I don’t start working out in the morning?
2 - Emotionally invest in the thing you want to start doing
How will my life be different if I start to workout in the morning?
How will I feel about myself if I start to workout in the morning?
What will I gain from working out in the morning?
You want to do this enough so that you actually start to get excited about the new thing you’re emotionally investing in.
Here’s the thing, we’re not so great at doing what’s best for us. Our reward systems are not designed for things that are “just good for us” unfortunately. We focus too much on immediate gratification versus long-term reward. In this case, it feels better to lay in bed right now and not workout versus if you worked out every morning you’d live longer, reduce your chances of injury and disease, you’d be happier and more confident, etc.
3) Visualize and rehearse
The last step here is to set yourself up for success by rehearsing the scenario.
This is called Mental Preparation (athletes do it all the time) - it’s when you picture yourself executing the skill or behavior in your mind, exactly in the environment you’d be in. Put yourself in your shoes right then and there, envision how you’d feel, imagine the excuses you’d try and tell yourself and then rehearse what you’re going to say to yourself and do instead. You already do it in other parts of your life, this one is no different.
By rehearsing exactly what’s going to happen and visualizing what you’re going to say/think/do instead, you’re helping future you out when they’re tired and wanting instant gratification. It might take a couple of tries but keep at it because it takes practice.
Let’s see how my client’s conversation plays out:
In the morning I know I’m going to be really warm and cozy. What I can do is leave my workout clothes right next to my bed so I can put them on right when I get out, I can also place my space heater next to my bed and turn it on before I get out. I’m also going to be really tempted to cuddle with my partner. I can still do that, I’ll just cuddle for 5 minutes instead of 30 minutes. Lastly, I can set up my phone to not let me use Instagram before 8am, so I physically can’t even go into the app!
And that’s it! Those are your 3 steps. I hope you find that as helpful as me and my clients have!
If you’re looking for a safe space where you'll receive support and guidance in achieving your health goals, you're right where you need to be :) Submit a client application to receive your free 15 min consultation with me. I work with clients all over the world-changing their relationship with their health and wellness so that they can reestablish trust in their bodies and feel empowered and confident that they’re always making the best decision for themselves.
Hi, I’m Azul Corajoria, an Integrative Health Coach, Personal Trainer & Yoga Instructor. I support my clients in making step-by-step changes so that they can live a healthy and balanced life. By recognizing the interdependent roles of mindset, nutrition, and movement I educate and hold my clients accountable for achieving their health goals through lifestyle and behavior adjustments with an emphasis on self-care. Together, we navigate the contradictory world of nutrition through intuitive eating, practice mindful movement, and implement small mindset and lifestyle shifts that empower them to be their best selves in the easiest way possible.
